That's what today is about, right? Reviewing the year? Or was that what I was supposed to be doing yesterday and today I'm supposed to be looking forward? Eh, I don't know. What I do know is that today I'm looking back in reflection of my 2012. Where it brought me, where it brought my little family.
Thanks to Caleb's birth, 2012 also included a lot more family time than we have gotten in the past. More visits to Minnesota/Michigan, more visitors frequenting the blow-up mattress in our living room, more Skype calls over dinnertime. And, we've loved it all. Visits and Skype calls don't necessarily make up for weekly coffee visits or in-person hugs on a regular basis, but it sure beats getting those things once or twice a year. We had:
• Jon's parents in January • Jon's brother's family in February
• A visit to Minnesota in March • A visit from Kass in May
• A trip to Michigan in May • A visit to both Minnesota and Nebraska in June
• Another trip to Minnesota in September • A visit from Mom in October
• A visit from Daph in November • A visit from Jon's mom and grandpa in November
• A visit from Al in December
• Another visit from my parents in December to close out the year.
Other notable events of 2012 have included:
• Joining MOPS • Joining BSF
• Growing my blog • Opening an Etsy shop
• Reconnecting with God
• Jon applying for a transfer
• Getting more involved in church activities
• Many trips to the beach
• Traveling to Anaheim to watch the Twins with C
• Trips to the San Diego Fair and Minnesota State Fair
It was an eventful year.
But, if I'm honest about 2012, I would also have to say it's probably been one of my hardest years to date. It seems silly while looking at how full the year has been with visitors and other things, but it was also a year of struggle for me. It was a year that I struggled with the isolation of being a stay-at-home mom and the loneliness that comes from the seeming inability to expand my friend base here in CA. And, from that, struggling to sometimes see myself as a person who is worthy of friends at all... "what don't I have?" "What don't I do?" Or, "what do I do that makes me unlikeable?"
It was the year I struggled with jealousy as friends bought houses and set roots while we remain stuck in an apartment waiting for the FAA to determine our future. And... the weight of having to deal with whatever future they decide is ours, to live here or to move home — without having any control over it. And then begging God to bring me peace with wherever he has us go. While my heart is more at peace about being in CA than it has ever been, it still isn't home. But, I'm working on making myself see it as such, and I sort of feel like this year's progress is evidence that I'm doing it successfully.
So, 2012, you were a good, but hard year. One that I will remember both fondly and with some growing pains. On to 2013!
|Photo by Megan Ann Photography|